Wednesday, September 21, 2011

So I went for an x-ray today. It was a chest x-ray ordered by my family doctor, because I've had a cough for months. It didn't bother me that much at first, but then I started pondering how colon cancer sometimes goes to the lungs, and I started wondering.

I put a tentative post on one of the CRC boards I'm part of, and had a couple of replies from people who said they had a cough when they had lung mets. So the x-ray seemed like a pretty good idea.

So I headed over to registration at the "short stay" section of our hospital. Short stay? How about NO stay! I've been in the "big house" too many times, and I don't care to go again. I tried to be casual as I waited for the receptionist to plug all the info in on the computer. Inside, I wasn't casual at all.

Being anywhere in that building makes me flash back to the day nearly 4 years ago when my life took an ugly turn.I may walk in confident as can be, but by the time I'm standing at that counter, I feel like a little girl waiting for my mommy to come find me.

Today that registration counter made me sad in another way, too. Most times when I am there, one of the volunteers is a lovely lady from my church. She wasn't there today, because tomorrow her journey to healing from breast cancer begins...Praying for you, my dear!

When I finally got called back for the x-ray, that process went very quickly, but it was not without trauma. Why, oh why do they put you in a huge room and tell you to take off your bra? Granted, I got to put my t-shirt back on, but couldn't they let me change in a bathroom or behind a curtain? My "girls" don't like hanging out where anybody could pop the door open at any second.

And there's the matter of taking the x-rays. It's a very easy procedure, especially compared to some of the tests I've had to do. But ever since I had all the tests to discover the cancer, I've felt very vulnerable when I've had to do any test requiring me to lift my arms above my head. It makes me feel so vulnerable and helpless.

At any rate, I seem to have survived the experience. Now to wait for results...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Ouch

So it's another night, another non-sleeping night because of pain. I sometimes wonder why I got off so "easily" with my cancer, while others suffer so much. And then are times like this, when the chronic pain that has plagued me since my colon resection works up to a fever pitch. That's when I remember that easy is a relative term. Yes, I'll take the pain over a recurrence of the cancer. Yes, I got away without having to do chemo or radiation. I know, I know. But could my stomach ever stop hurting?? Please????

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A New Relay season

It's been awhile since I've posted! Too busy living life, I guess! The sad part is that while I haven't been writing, I've still heard about several friends being diagnosed with cancer. When does it stop? I wish it would be today!

We just finished up the Relay For Life year, and now we're gearing up for a new one. This will be a very poignant year, because we will be remembering our dear friend and fellow committee member, Gail. She passed away July 13, 2 months to the day from being a survivor speaker at her final Relay. Gail loved pink flamingoes, and we'll likely have a lot of those around in her memory. I remember her sweet smile all the time, but I know that when we get ready for the survivor lap in May, she will be uppermost in my thoughts.